Sunday, February 6, 2011

Six Months Later...

On January 31, my husband and I had been married for six months. Now, that day landed on a Monday, but that did not stop us from having an at-home celebration! Note written after I finished typing: I promise to blog about our celebration tomorrow (complete with pictures)!

Marriage, in just six months, has been life changing: an adventure everyday. From each snore he grunts out to each passionate kiss we share, I am thankful for our premarital counseling. Counseling can heed negative thoughts and bad mojo feelings, yet, we had nothing but wonderful guidance and honest conversation. Maybe people also shy away from religious counseling thinking that God will hinder them from speaking bluntly, but religion can lead to more honesty. Yes, talking about sex with the man who is going to marry you, his wife, and your future husband can be weird....down right uncomfortable even; however, it was most likely the only place I would feel safe talking about sex, money, in-laws, etc. 

I am not an overly religious person, but throughout my relationship and now marriage to my husband, I have become closer to God. I am not about to go out in the bar area of town and hand out tracts that are later going to be trampled on by high heals and loafers.

This Halloween while dressed as the cute version of the Stay Puft Marshmallow with a Ghostbuster husband by my side, I got the best look. Two men were handing out tracts and the younger one looked at me and asked, "Do you need to know Jesus?" The poor little man looked so lost when a Marshmallow said, "I'm a Christian and I went to church today!" as she continued on her way to the sushi bar for a yummy glass of Plum Wine.
I think people put a lot of pressure on a religious person to act a certain way; yet, I have found no problem in beginning myself and also being a Christian. I go downtown (granted not like I use to when I was an under graduate student) to have a drink or two. I watch R rated movies. I watch secular TV shows (Dr. Who, Star Trek, Sex and the City). Overall, I am still myself and I think that is the key of religion. Religion is not meant to warp you into humaniod carbon copy of Moses or Mary.

Yet, I have changed in small ways. I cuss less, which makes me feel happier. Prayer comes easier not only in toilsome times, but also in the moments of joyous happiness. I have come to realize that recognizing both extremes helps stabilize a marriage. I am less likely to get aggravated when I feel overwhelmed by work or marriage (aka sharing space for the first time with someone with only two legs since 2006!)I find myself more willing to work through problems, because not only do I have my husband by my side, but also my God. I also find disappointment easier to overcome because I can honestly tell myself, "Ok, this was not meant to be; however I know something better will come." When I changed jobs, the encouragement of my husband and the comfort from God made losing money easier to bear, and I have found myself so much happier because I trusted God to help us through the transition. I smile more, remind myself of the small joys in life, and am truly happy.

Overall, I have rediscovered real comfort in going to church, holding my partner's hand during prayer and sermons, and sharing coffee with conversation on Sundays. I know that without my husband encouraging me to return to my childhood religious roots, I would not have refound this inherent peace.


Erin M. said...

I like your take on religion; it doesn't have to be a bad thing, like you say, and can even bring about more honesty. Interestingly enough, how you described things (re: religion/marriage) is similar to a lot of things I've read about Islam - the Islam guide to marriage even addresses anal intercourse - imagine talking with a mullah about that! But Islam was more progressive than I thought, which brings me back to your post - secular balance with kind faith seems to be joyful and peaceful, and I applaud you for that (and sharing your space since '06). I wish there were more church-goers like you getting more attention, which might dilute some of the hyperbole around those with the, er, extreme viewpoints (last seen trampled on flyers):)

PS: Have you read "Committed" by the EatPrayLove lady? It's actually pretty good, once you get past the simpering parts:)

Fool in a Tree said...

I have not read Committed yet. If you suggest it, then I will have to pick it up!