Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Sex and Wedding

I love bridal TV shows, and I am a newly wed. In fact, on January 31, I will have been married for six months. As a newly wed, I love answering questions about my wedding while showing off pictures.

My husband helped design the cake, and it was breath taking. The flowers looked like they had been cut and paste from a magazine. The chapel was fairy tale perfect. I do not think Walt Disney himself could have designed a more romantic setting, yet at the same time, my wedding was not a "princess" wedding. I did not have a theme per say.

I had an elegant beautiful traditional wedding. TV shows, on the other hand, depict weddings with over the top themes, with the emphasis being on the perfect tablecloth or bigger centerpieces and not on the vows, the commitment that occurs between two people on a wedding day.

I do not mind couples having a themed wedding. I love looking at pictures of steam punk weddings, Renaissance Fair weddings, and Disney weddings. I also adore the website Off Beat Bride. What I do mind is the new direction the wedding dress has taken. Does the dress need to be white? No. Can the dress be fun? Yes. (I adore the retro dresses, like the one Audrey Hepburn wore in Funny Face!)

A wedding dress is an extension of the bride; it is to be an enhancement to the commitment and a reminder of vows the bride is about to take. Therefore, I was shocked during an episode TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta" when a woman said, "The theme of my wedding is SEXY!" She went on to talk about how her dress had to be sexy and tight so it would show off her booty. When did a bride become a sex symbol?

I have noticed a trend arising lately with wedding dresses. Dresses are becoming more expensive for a lot less fabric...almost like a bathing suit. One designer in particular is designing dresses that are stunning, until it becomes apparent that the lace corset is transparent. The top of the dresses are already a sweetheart neck line, which would cause cleavage. Cleavage can be done tastefully. Yet on these dresses, take away the skirt and you would be left with a top that if dyed a different color could worn to a bar. Bar attire does not belong on a bride.

I believe that by wanting a sexy wedding dress, the bride is belittling the commitment she is about to make. Instead of putting the focus on the vows that are about to exchanged, the bride is saying "Look at my abs!" or if boobs are pouring out, "Look at my plastic! Your monetary gifts are going to finish paying for them!"

(Please not how low the dress below goes. This dress is very popular at Klenfeild's in NYC and on TV, the see-through part goes past the belly button!)

My husband told me on our wedding night that I was the sexist woman alive in my wedding dress: a dress that didn't show cleavage, wasn't short, and didn't cling. I believed him. In short, let the see-through be worn on the honeymoon. Let the wedding be about the love.


Kelly said...

As a bride, wouldn't one want her dress to be modest? I know I must live in some old fashioned time, but I'm thinking about a wedding dress being white for a specific reason. It's a symbol of beauty in purity! I had an old fashioned wedding dress with long sleeves, and a full skirt. If I were attending a so-called "sexy" wedding I would feel rather uncomfortable. Good for you for speaking your mind about these wedding "dresses!"

Anonymous said...

My wedding dress was long and a ball gown but it wasnt white.